| About Football Out of Bounds | |
Date: Oct. 21, 2002
Picture Saturday Night Live's Norm McDonald, doing his best Andy Rooney imitation (which isn't very good), asking the audience, "Have you ever noticed those female sideline reporters the networks employ for NFL games? And have you ever noticed they're all a bunch of ignorant bimbos that wouldn't know a football field from a corn field without a man pointing them in the right direction."
Now picture the real Andy Rooney (assuming he is real), complete with those fuzzy little white caterpillars that always seem to be grazing on his forehead, on the set of MSG Network's "Boomer Esiason Show", telling the world basically the same thing.
Rooney raised eyebrows (others', not his own) earlier this month when he implied women bring new meaning to the term broadcaster. He was quoted as saying,
"The only thing that really bugs me about television's coverage is those damn women they have down on the sidelines who don't know what the hell they're talking about.
I mean, I'm not a sexist person, but a woman has no business being down there trying to make some comment about a football game."
First of all, let me start by saying that I agree with Andy... on one point.
I do think it's time to dump the eye candy in favor of knowledgeable sports journalists that might add something to the broadcast instead of asking the same boring questions week after week.
"Uh, Coach... what happened in the first half?"
"Uh, Coach... what will you do different in the second half?"
I'm tired of that kind of crap. I'd rather watch someone try to lick their elbows than sit through another scintillating interview like that! Lets get rid of anyone who can't think of an intelligent question on his or her own and replace them with someone who can.
And I don't think that should include all women or be limited to just women. I can think of several male buffoons I'd like to see booted out of the booth as well. I have no problem with female commentators as long as they know what they're talking about. However, if this person just happens to be blessed with the face and body of a goddess, then who am I to complain.
As long as Andy has been around (can you say fossil?), he should know that he will never get away with any statement that begins with, "I'm not a sexist person, but a woman has no business..."
I don't care how you finish this statement, Andy, you lose!
There's no way you're coming out on top when a group like the N.O.W. gets wind of it. Andy had to know there would be repercussions when he released his now infamous assessment of football. So now he must take the verbal beating he brought upon himself, while the rest of us women-fearing men snicker silently in the background, thankful he has diverted the focus of women everywhere away from us and toward his ill-advised comments, even if it only buys the rest of us a brief reprieve from the legacy of our own dubious words and misguided actions.
I don't doubt that the primary job of some of these "journalists" is to look pretty for the camera, but if Rooney thinks all female sportscasters should be lumped into the "blonde bimbo" category, then he certainly hasn't done his homework.
ESPN's Suzy Kolber, host of "Edge NFL Match-Up", has forgotten more about the Xs and Os of football than Andy ever knew. If he thinks she knows nothing about football after listening to her show, then he simply wasn't paying attention. Then there's Sportcenter anchor Linda Cohn and New York Yankees broadcaster Suzyn Waldman, just to name a couple more sports-wise female journalists.
So when Andy complains about journalists being hired based on their good looks regardless of how clueless they are, I have to assume that at some point in his career, he actually knew what the hell he was talking about.
