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Mocking the Mock NFL Drafts

Monday April 21, 2014

NFL Draft

Some - well, almost all - of the hundreds of NFL mock drafts going around remind me of when I used to be a travel writer.

When I did research on a place before going, I often read travel articles, many of which were found, naturally, in travel magazines.

To say that most travel stories are "fawning" would be an understatement of gargantuan proportions, with the obvious and notable exception, of course, of the About.com travel section.

Most of them were so over-the-top embarrassing and misleading, that I would choose the most flowery and ridiculous by singling them out in an attempt to humiliate the writers. It never did. These people prided themselves on being travel mouthpieces. They just wanted free trips, and they would do anything to get them.

Sportswriters aren't nearly as bad - nothing on earth is as bad as bad travel writing - but they do tend to be a little too positive about most of the projected first-round draft choices. After all, a lot of first-rounders fail. They can't all be can't-miss prospects.

Here's my mock draft, painstakingly developed with respect to whom I think teams should draft, according to my research.

It's fascinating enough, but right before the NFL draft on May 8, look for a story on those certain first-rounders who I think will fail. I think that one will be more interesting, or at least more fun.

- Getty Images

 

Donald Trump an NFL Owner? No Way, This Ain't No Carnival!

Thursday April 17, 2014

Donald Trump

I see where some NFL fans are getting their team banners all in a wad over the Buffalo Bills situation.

Buffalo owner Ralph Wilson passed away recently, and the Bills are up for sale. One fear is that whoever buys the Bills will move the team out of Buffalo.

That is a possibility. It would be completely class-less, of course, but NFL owners will seriously contemplate the move. Making money hand over fist is never enough for these guys, and they are certainly looking at the fact Buffalo is only the nation's 51st largest TV market. That's where the money is, or isn't in this case.

The other fear is that Donald Trump will become the owner. This is not a possibility. Even NFL owners recognize Trump is a braying buffoon who would shatter the league's carefully cultivated public relations image.

Now, if it were the World Wrestling Federation Trump was interested in, that would be a different matter.

Bills fans: You're right to worry over a possible move out of Buffalo, but don't worry that your team will be sullied by clownish ownership.

Let's get back to the real game. Here is my profile of the league's leading rusher, LeSean McCoy.

- Getty Images

Is Jadeveon Clowney a Good-for-Nothing Lazy Bum or What?

Monday April 14, 2014

Jadeveon Clowney

So how much credence do you put into that NFL "personnel" man's slanderous comments about Jadeveon Clowney?

Clowney, of course, is the man/monster defensive end from South Carolina, the guy so many call "freakish" because of his extraordinary blend of size, speed and athleticism.

He is also the projected top overall pick by many draft experts in the upcoming NFL draft. Those who don't project him as the top pick sometimes question his, um work ethic.

The anonymous NFL exec in question said this about Clowney, according to NJ.com: "He's spoiled and he's lazy. He's never worked hard a day in his life, now all of a sudden you're going to give him a bunch of money and expect him to work hard? I don't see it."

The question is: With the NFL draft scheduled for May 8, is this simply a ploy by some team to cause doubt in the minds of those picking higher, so that his team can grab him?

Or is this the considered opinion of a wise man with inside information?

My opinion: I think Clowney is so lazy that if he woke up with nothing to do, he'd go to bed with it only half done.

Now let's go to some hard workers, the best cornerbacks available in the 2014 NFL draft.

- Getty Images

Super Bowl Rematch! Who Cares if it's Meaningless?

Thursday April 10, 2014

Peyton Manning

Yes, the NFL preseason schedule has been released, to wild applause by NFL fans everywhere. Who goes nuts over a preseason schedule? Only in the NFL.

The most intriguing contests - if I may use that term for meaningless, exhibition games - involves recent Super Bowl champions.

Since the league hasn't released times or specific dates yet, we know the losing Broncos play the winning Seahawks in Denver the weekend of August 7-10. It's win-win for the Seahawks, but everybody knows the Broncos will be putting a ton of effort into this game, the kind of effort you don't normally see in a preseason game.

It would be a psychological blow if the Broncos lose. If the Seahawks lose, they could simply shrug and smirk.

There is another Super Bowl matchup the first week: The losers - San Francisco - play the winners - Baltimore. Of course, the Ravens are only a shadow of their Super Bowl winning team, so this one doesn't come close to the gravitas of the Broncos - Seahawks matchup.

If you're filling in dates with your pencil, here are some specifics: the Hall of Fame game is in Canton on August 3 between Buffalo and the New York Giants.

Also, the first Thursday night game is normally played in the home town of the defending Super Bowl Champs. That is scheduled for September 4. The regular season schedule is due to be released some time this month.

Now for some meaningful NFL stuff. With the draft getting closer and closer, check out my list of the Top 10 NFL draft steals of all time.

- Getty Images

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