The draft is less than a week away. I, like most coaches and die-hard fans, have been preparing...which, of course, means that I have been planning my menu for draft day. (What? Did you think I was referring to player evaluations?) My day will begin with a trip to V.G.'s Donut shop to purchase two dozen "shoe" donuts. Mind you that these "shoes" are no ordinary donuts; these delectable creations are a mixture of half old-fashioned buttermilk donuts and half ordinary glazed donuts. The result is a donut as soft as glazed donuts, but as flavor-rich as old-fashioned buttermilk bars. To quote the great Homer J. Simpson, "Mmmm!"
My dietary routine for the first round consists of consuming one donut for every pick during the first three hours. Simple math estimates my intake at around sixteen donuts.
But, rest assured, the gluttony does not stop there.
The remainder of round one and all of round two consists of one slice of pizza for every other draft pick. Each slice is lathered in a dill-dip that is simply artery-cloggingily good. Needless to say, by the start of round three, I am as useless as Tommy Maddox.
Oh my! I had better stop: my salivary glands are working over-time, dripping all over my keyboard. Ergo, I had better table this issue (no pun intended) and move on to something a little less mouth-watering: player evaluations.
THE WUNDERKINDS
This is my dream, with "dream" being the operative word: Pittsburgh trades all of their draft picks to Houston for Reggie Bush.
I know, I know. An all too familiar adage about "eggs" and "one basket" certainly applies. Still, hear me out for a second. A talent like Bush only comes around every five or six years. Sure, this deal would leave the Steelers thin at some positions (via not drafting back-ups in later rounds). But, with two compensatory picks in round four, the Steelers could still draft a developmental wide-receiver and a back-up free-safety.
Besides, even if Pittsburgh's defensive depth chart takes a hit this year, adding Reggie Bush to Pittsburgh's offense would make it so prolific, that Pittsburgh's defense would not see the field that much anyway. In other words, the Steelers already have a lightning-fast running back (Parker), the most complete wide-receiver in the NFL (Ward), the franchise quarterback (Roethlisberger), and a Pro-Bowl caliber tight-end (Miller). Adding a weapon such as Reggie Bush to this already formidable mix would make the Steelers pretty close to unstoppable.
Then, there are the nay-sayers who ask, "What position would Reggie play?" The answer is simple: line Reggie up ANYWHERE on the field, get the ball in his hands, and watch him work his magic. In other words, whether Reggie lines up at wide-out or running-back or even tight end, yards are yards...points are points. Furthermore, I would rather have the problem of trying to figure out ways to include Reggie Bush than being the defensive coordinator who has to figure out ways to stop him. [Note: Reggie would also return punts and kick-offs.]
It should also be noted (for the record) that if my "Reggie Bush dream" is a tad too delusional, that I would also be a fan of seeing the Steelers trade their first four picks for A.J. Hawk.
Alas...I am alone on both of these issues: no one wants Pittsburgh to do anything as drastic as these aforementioned mega-trades.
TIGHT-ENDS APLENTY!!!
A more realistic dream would be to have the Steelers draft a tight end in the first round, namely Leonard Pope or Marcedes Lewis (Yes, he does indeed spell it that way).
Before you string me up, hear me out. With the Steelers running a base offense that puts two tight-ends on the field for two-thirds of its plays, those tight-ends should be starting caliber. And, Jerame Tuman is a back-up at best.
Furthermore, for those who feel that the Steelers need a wide-receiver more than a tight-end, I tell them to compare Tuman with Cedric Wilson. In my opinion, Wilson is a better wide-out than Tuman is a tight-end, making tight-end a bigger need than wide-out.
If you are still not convinced, consider the following: people always talk about stretching the defense, making opponents cover the entire field. But, they are generally only referring to the vertical game (i.e. deep route runners). My contention is, spread the offense out horizontally, as well, with two solid tight-ends. The result: plenty of space and/or holes through which Fast Willie can romp.
Alas...I am once again alone on this issue: no one else wants to draft a tight-end.
BACK TO REALITY
All dreaming aside, this is the way I see the draft unfolding.